Why adults have affairs?
Speak about a loaded topic that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since millennium. Extramarital relationships can be fraught with problems, cause despair, and other problems. Also you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety matter, money, age dissimilarity, faith education, shame, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married woman date.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are men seeking affairs. I suppose mostly though it is just the human condition, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos the world has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is awfully pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your relatives or anyone else? You would need to minimize the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest group, enormous truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they feel happy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your finances are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a frequent cause I fear. One or the other, usually the male is sexually neglecting his lady for a multitude of reasons. As a male I actually am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be caring is disappeared, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply grown separately, our general concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.